Category Archives: B.A.E. of the Week

Profiling awesome single ladies. You’re not alone!

B.A.E. of the Week: Elizabeth C.

You all are thirsting for a new B.A.E. of the Week, I can tell. Don’t worry, I’m not running low on incredibly huge catches (I mean that figuratively, not literally), but I’ve been holding back because the BAE posts need to be proportionate to other posts…and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m on a summer schedule with Generation grannY. That being said, my boyfriend (still weird to say) and I decided to start commuting together most mornings since we work five minutes apart, which means I’m forced to get up an hour earlier than usual to get him to the office late on time. It also means I have an hour to focus on writing each morning. Get excited! I’m the kind of person who woke up at 4 a.m. in college to write a paper due at 9:30 a.m. instead of staying up all night working on it (grannies generally can’t stay up past midnight), so this arrangement is ideal!

Now onto your B.A.E. of the Week. It’s a good one.

<<If you already know what B.A.E. of the Week is, you may skip this introduction and head straight to Elizabeth C.’s profile.>>

WHAT IS B.A.E. OF THE WEEK?

B.A.E.Bachelorettes are Everywhere. Single ladies, you are not alone.

Urban Dictionary definition: Bae– A Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc.

For purposes on Generation grannY, “bae” means the second half of the above definition.

Every few weeks, I will profile a single lady who is a catch. This is not so that guys can come girlfriend shopping on Generation grannY. I promise– the purpose is not to market these women. They are not easy. They are not desperate. Odds are, they will not have even wanted to be featured as the B.A.E. of the Week, but I will have coerced them with promises of alcohol, chocolate, and 10% of any money I ever make with my writing.

The real purpose of the “Bachelorettes are Everywhere” series is to help remind any single sisters reading my blog that you are not alone. You are normal, but in a good way. Nay, you are awesome, and I’ll prove it to you by showing you all of these other awesome females who haven’t found the right guy yet.

B.A.E. of the Week: Elizabeth C.

Liz Crot

Name:  Elizabeth C.

Nickname(s): Liz, E Beth, E Crizzle

Age: 27

What institute of higher learning did/do you attend? James Madison University

What is your current occupation? Aspiring actress/TV personality/blogger

What is your ultimate career goal? Interested in fashion, feminism, writing and on camera work…but ultimately I’d like to live like the female James Bond.

What is something you’ve done in life thus far that you’re proud of? Moving to NYC with $1000 and no job and surviving debt, rejection, heartbreak, multiple crappy jobs and lice. Did you know that I got lice in NY? Still smiling, y’all.

[Editor’s Note: Liz is the least pageanty pageant person I know, so of COURSE she’s not going to bring it up, but I feel compelled to tell you that she was Miss Virginia 2011 and a semi-finalist at Miss America. NBD.]

What do you like to do outside of work? Thrift store shopping, skateboarding, going to the beach, hiking, listening to old music on records, walking around health food stores and looking at hippy stuff.

Who was your elementary school crush? Will Keune, whose family moved away on a boat and I was devastated.

Did he like you back? No, he liked this girl, Katie. She was a brat.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I do believe in instant connections and I’m a very open person and like to get to know people quickly… why waste time? But love? I don’t know about all that. Love is more about commitment; it’s a choice.

Do you feel ready to get married if you found the right one? The short answer: hell no. The long answer: I would like to be more secure in my career ambitions before I bring someone else into the mix. Luckily I think my biological clock is broken.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? I spilled an entire drink on my skirt at a club and had to stand in the bathroom in my undies under a hand dryer.

What is the second most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? I went on a date and was running late so I took a cab. When we pulled up to the restaurant I realized I didn’t have my wallet. I asked the cab driver if I could Venmo him the $. He said no. So I had to run in and explain the situation to my date. The guy was a complete gentleman and went out to pay the cab, but I got turned around and told him the cab was in a different place, and that it was a yellow cab (it was green). I guess it was forgivable because he wants to take me out again!

What’s one weird thing you do sometimes? When I brush my teeth I get water and toothpaste and spit everywhere, like, the mirror doesn’t stand a chance. ALSO I’m awful at celebrity spotting- I told Mike Myers he looked like Mike Myers.

[Editor’s Note: The scene in Bring it On when Kirsten Dunst brushes her teeth flirtatiously makes me mad every time. It is simply not possible to look cute while brushing your teeth. HOLLYWOOD LIES.]

Do you try and catch the bouquet at weddings or usually hide from it? Girl.

[Editor’s Note: LOLOLOLOLOLOL]

Are you more like Cinderella or Belle? Definitely not Cinderella- mice scare the crap out of me. I’d say Belle, because she saves the prince instead of vice versa.

What’s your favorite unhealthy food? Nachos. Hands down. Or any kind of cake, cookies, icing.

What’s your least favorite kind of workout? Any kind that involves a gym. I have realized that I only work out if I’m active on the daily; I have to trick myself.

Go-to drink: Rye whisky on the rocks.

Ryan Gosling or Chris Hemsworth? Um, they’re both blond and that reminds me of my little brother.

 Chelsea Handler or Kristin Wiig? I’ve been told that I remind people of both of those ladies (thanks!). Love that Chelsea has no filter and Kristen is just so awkward and funny.

[Editor’s Note: Cop out. You didn’t choose.]

Favorite physical feature on yourself: I like things on myself I don’t have to maintain. I don’t have to dye my hair and I like that, and when I gain weight my butt gets bigger proportionately. Hay!

One reason you love being single: Being able to explore the world more freely. There are SO MANY PEOPLE, and a lot of cute guys too ;-). My type is definitely a lovable dork who’s good at skating or some other outdoor activity and is more artistic than athletic. Also, I’m in way better shape when I’m single. Oh, and I never feel guilty about time spent on me. Oops, I think that’s more than one reason.

B.A.E.s of the Week are required to give me their BFF(s)’s phone number so that I can ask the following questions:

Describe Liz in three words: Sassy, strong, sweet

Why you think Liz shouldn’t be single: Elizabeth shouldn’t be single because she knows how to have a good time and keep the mood up!

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B.A.E. of the Week: Katie B.

Alright, good job, everyone. You’ve now read THREE whole real blog posts since the last B.A.E. of the Week, so I will reward you with a hot, sassy, flexible talented, successful, and philanthropic bae. You’re welcome.

<<If you already know what B.A.E. of the Week is, you may skip this introduction and head straight to Katie B.’s profile.>>

WHAT IS B.A.E. OF THE WEEK?

B.A.E.= Bachelorettes are Everywhere. Single ladies, you are not alone.

Urban Dictionary definition: Bae– A Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc.

For purposes on Generation grannY, “bae” means the second half of the above definition.

Every few weeks, I will profile a single lady who is a catch. This is not so that guys can come girlfriend shopping on Generation grannY. I promise– the purpose is not to market these women. They are not easy. They are not desperate. Odds are, they will not have even wanted to be featured as the B.A.E. of the Week, but I will have coerced them with promises of alcohol, chocolate, and 10% of any money I ever make with my writing.

The real purpose of the “Bachelorettes are Everywhere” series is to help remind any single sisters reading my blog that you are not alone. You are normal, but in a good way. Nay, you are awesome, and I’ll prove it to you by showing you all of these other awesome females who haven’t found the right guy yet.

B.A.E. of the Week: Katie B.

Katie B. 2

Name: Katie B.

Nickname(s): KB, Nugget

Age: 26

What institute of higher learning did/do you attend? I’m a graduate of Fordham University with a double major in Dance and Communications/Media Studies. I recently started back at Fordham part-time to pursue my MBA. #GoodbyeSocialLife.

What is your current occupation? I currently do marketing & events for the Swiss, luxury watch company Vacheron Constantin. I’ve been with the company for 4 years and can honestly say that I love what I do. It’s creative, strategic, and challenging. We also have a partnership with New York City Ballet and being a former dancer, I’m afforded the opportunity to keep dance in my life in a different, non-traditional way!

What is your ultimate career goal?  I hope to be Director of Marketing for a fashion, luxury goods, or beauty brand.

What is something you’ve done in life thus far that you’re proud of? Having competed in the Miss America Organization for 10 years, I have to say, having the opportunity to be Miss Manhattan was pretty cool! New York City is the greatest city on Earth. It’s the epicenter of arts & culture, fashion, & finance, and there is an undeniable, addictive energy. During my year as Miss Manhattan, I met so many wonderful people, attended numerous events, and did some phenomenal work with GMHC (the world’s leading HIV/AIDS organization) that ultimately help pave the way for me to become the youngest board member in the organization’s history.

What do you like to do outside of work? I’m a Flybarre/Flywheel junkie. They both are such phenomenal workouts and I always leave energized. I enjoy seeing shows, going to the ballet, scowling sample sales, trying out different dive bars, wearing black on black on black, brunching (yes, it’s a verb) on the weekend, volunteering with GMHC, drinking green juice, walking & exploring different parts of the city, and binge watching netflixs when the temperature dips below what is humanly acceptable. The dichotomy of dirty streets and sequins makes me fall in love with NYC again and again and again.

[Editor’s note: That last sentence, though. Shivers.]

Who was your elementary school crush? Brian Betley.

Did he like you back? Haha no. I tried way too hard.

Do you believe in love at first sight? No. I believe in “like” or “lust” at first sight, but true love takes time. To really love someone, you have to connect with them; find out about their personality, interests, qualities, quirks, & flaws. You need to see whether he makes you laugh, how he kisses you, and ultimately, spend time together.

Do you feel ready to get married if you found the right one? Yes, I think so.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? My little brother recently played a show at the Trocadero in Philadelphia. While waiting in line to go inside I noticed a very attractive, tall guy in front of me. I turned to my mom and said, “I wonder what year this guy graduated, I’ll have to have Jimmy introduce me.” My mom turned around and said, “He graduates in May… with your brother.” I was mortified. Cue Mrs. Robinson.

[Editor’s note: I held on to this gem of a profile for so long before publishing that “last week” is really more like “last month”…my bad. Also, Katie– you rob that cradle. No shame.]

What is the second most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? So after Jimmy’s show, a bunch of kids came back to our home for the “after-party.” The event planner in me started bringing down chips, popcorn, pizza, etc. The next day Jimmy told me that a few kids were confused as to who I was. “Do you have an older sister or a really young Mom?” was the question frequently asked. I DIED. My ego is still recovering.

[Editor’s Note: #milfintraining]

What’s one weird thing you do sometimes? I’m the “to-do” list queen. I make lists on top of lists on top of lists. I like the satisfaction of crossing things off that I’ve completed.

Do you try and catch the bouquet at weddings or usually hide from it? Catch it. I’m super competitive.

Are you more like Mindy Kaling or Beyonce? Hands down Beyonce. Anyone who has been out with me on a Saturday night knows that I rarely pass up an opportunity to whip my hair back and forth.

[Editor’s Note: ^^ Fact.]

What’s your favorite unhealthy food?  Peanut butter. I’ve been told it’s a “good fat”, but to quote my mother, aka Big Red, “there is no good kind of fat for a girl who is single.” Big Red wins at life.

[Editor’s Note: Mothers are put on this earth to spit truth.]

What’s your least favorite kind of workout? Running. I wish I was one of those people that pops in their headphones and runs multiple miles like it’s nothing. I run for a few minutes and then start looking at my watch, loosing patience, & struggling for breathe. My mind quickly starts to wonder: “Am I running too slow? Is my form wrong? Am I Pheobe from FRIENDS?” #AngerJogger

Go-to drink: I’m a beer gal. My two go-to’s are pilners & pale ales.

Brad Pitt or Bradley Cooper? Bradley Cooper

Zach Galifianakis or Will Ferrell? Will Ferrell

Favorite physical feature on yourself: Eyes. I have absolutely no poker face, like zero, so whatever I’m feeling can be seen all over my face and usually radiates from my eyes. They are also green, which is different/cool. I also have a love/hate relationship with my butt. I struggle daily with wishing I was a size 0 & not minding that I fill out a pair of jeans. Guess I just gotta find a guy that is “all bout that bass.”

One reason you love being single: I really enjoy meeting new people. I’m at the point in my life where I want to find people that I connect with and have a natural, organic conversation with that extends past the superficial “how was your day” type questions. I’m very open and dating/meeting new people challenges me to step outside my box, put myself out there, try new things, and take a chance. The more dates I go on, the more it becomes apparent as to what I want from a partner.

B.A.E.s of the Week are required to give me their BFF(s)’s phone number so that I can ask the following questions:

Describe Katie in three words:

BFF #1: Feisty, loyal, dedicated

BFF #2: Dynamic, compassionate, beautiful

Why you think Katie shouldn’t be single: 

BFF #1: Because some man out there is missing out on one of the most amazing, genuine, big-hearted and multi-talented women I know….and a girl’s gotta eat! So she deserves a man to wine and dine her.

BFF #2: Katie should not be single because she is not only beautiful on the outside, but she is just as beautiful on the inside. She is kind loving and loyal. Katie deserves to have someone in her life that makes her happy and his priority! Katie does so much for others that she deserves a guy who will do this for her. 🙂

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B.A.E. of the Week: Claire B.

Update about B.A.E. of the Week: For fear of my blog turning into one big B.A.E. catalog, I’ll probably post profiles of awesome baes just once every few weeks instead of weekly. Now you’ll be required to read my weird lists and granny viewpoints in between scouting out new best friends or playing matchmaker for your coworker. Not even a little bit sorry.

<<If you already know what B.A.E. of the Week is, you may skip this introduction and head straight to Claire B.’s profile.>>

WHAT IS B.A.E. OF THE WEEK?

B.A.E.= Bachelorettes are Everywhere. Single ladies, you are not alone.

Urban Dictionary definition: Bae– A Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc.

For purposes on Generation grannY, “bae” means the second half of the above definition.

Every few weeks, I will profile a single lady who is a catch. This is not so that guys can come girlfriend shopping on Generation grannY. I promise– the purpose is not to market these women. They are not easy. They are not desperate. Odds are, they will not have even wanted to be featured as the B.A.E. of the Week, but I will have coerced them with promises of alcohol, chocolate, and 10% of any money I ever make with my writing.

The real purpose of the “Bachelorettes are Everywhere” series is to help remind any single sisters reading my blog that you are not alone. You are normal, but in a good way. Nay, you are awesome, and I’ll prove it to you by showing you all of these other awesome females who haven’t found the right guy yet.

B.A.E. of the Week: Claire B.

claire b 2

Nickname(s): Claire Bear, Buff, ClaireBuff

Age:  28 (29 so soon)

What institute of higher learning did/do you attend? Ball State University (BFA), Georgetown University (Masters)

What is your current occupation?  Photographer and Marketing Consultant

What is your ultimate career goal?  Theatrical marketing for Broadway and the performing arts – I want to keep helping actors and dancers succeed!

What is something you’ve done in life thus far that you’re proud of?  I’ve owned my own business for 10 years, and this past fall with my roommate Mallory, I started a new – what I thought was going to be a “side” – personal branding business (niche in Miss America prep), and despite the changing landscape of the Miss America Organization, it has been far more successful than we anticipated!! Both of these things allow me to live in NY (the best place on earth) in the lifestyle I desire.

What do you like to do outside of work?  Drink wine with friends. Cook dinner for friends. Drink wine while cooking.

claire b

Claire and I after drinking wine. Proof that one of her hobbies is drinking wine with friends!

Who was your elementary school crush?  Matthew Blevins…3rd Grade…baseball park hahaha

[Editor’s Note: Unclear why a baseball park is mentioned, but the strong laughter at the end really intrigues me]

Did he like you back? He kissed me by the bleachers and then ran away. Unclear.

Do you believe in love at first sight?  I don’t really know…I think at the beginning you have a gut feeling of “THIS” or not. But if that gut feeling is love? I’m not quite sure. Whatever it is, there’s always that first feeling you’ll never forget. Sometimes it’s not a rush of o.m.g. l.o.v.e. But it’s more of ..uhhhh what was that?!?

Do you feel ready to get married if you found the right one? Yes.  Thought I’d be engaged at 26, married at 27/28, so I’m a little behind my own expectations, but that’s not a disappointing thing.  I have a pretty cool life and enjoy sharing it with my friends…just ready to share it with someone else too.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? Ehhhh I was on the struggle bus lifting my insanely heavy grocery bags out of the cart at Trader Joe’s yesterday. But luckily in NY, you’re never the most embarrassing person around.

What is the second most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week?  (You can still be considered a bachelorette even if you’re dating right? Just not yet committed? If so this one could apply…)  Got together to watch a movie with a guy and we were wearing matching shirts. Embarrassing? eh not so much, but a little weird? Sure.

What’s one weird thing you do sometimes?  Play out complete hypothetical conversations in my head, verbatim. And then think about all the directions it could go.  (did I just reveal why I’m single?!)

[Editor’s Note: If this is a reason for singledom, then you may have cracked the code for me, as well.]

Do you try and catch the bouquet at weddings or usually hide from it?  Usually casually stand in an area that physics would not even allow a bouquet to reach.

Are you Princess Fiona (Shrek) or Nala (Lion King)?  Nala! I’m in the BCEFA (Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids] show on the Lion King Broadway stage on Monday, 4/20, and I’m going to be standing on (or near) Pride Rock in the finale…TOTALLY makes me Nala!

What’s your favorite unhealthy food?  Mac & Cheese (with peas) – and Kraft, Shannon. None of that Velveeta s***.

[Editor’s Note: This is grounds for a reevaluation of our friendship.]

What’s your least favorite kind of workout?  Butt/thighs.  What is my most needed kind of workout? Butt/thighs.

Go-to drink: Red wine. Malbec.

Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel? Fallon. He’s hilarious and so nice.

[Editor’s Note: Claire is pals with a lot of famous people, including but not limited to Jimmy Fallon, Perez Hilton, and Sutton Foster]

Hugh Jackman or Bradley Cooper? Gahhhhh  Hugh Jackman…but I don’t think we’re playing for the same team….hasn’t stopped me before.

[Editor’s Note: #theatrelife]

Favorite physical feature on yourself:  Potentially contradicting the above [least favorite workout question]…my legs.

One reason you love being single: I love my friends so much and have a tight-knit group. I love being able to devote a lot of time to them. That’s why whomever I date needs the friend approval and needs to be able to hang with the group, naturally, not just because he wants to make me happy.

B.A.E.s of the Week are required to give me their BFF’s phone number so that I can ask the following questions:

Describe Claire in three words: Compassionate, witty, loyal

Why you think Claire shouldn’t be single: Claire shouldn’t be single because she’s just the best. I know that sounds like BS, but she’s so caring and thoughtful, so  funny and always up for a good time! She is the best listener and the best cook– like, seriously. Also, she’s super hot. Did I mention that she’s an amazing cook and she’s super hot?

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B.A.E. of the Week: Nicole G.

Apologies for not writing a post this week other than B.A.E. of the Week…I’ve been very busy doing things like tending to the blisters on my fingers due to my new horseback riding class, catching up on the show Girls (not recommended for anyone 30+ or with any sense of morality), weeding out men who will definitely never be my husband, and perfecting my brie to wheat thin ratio.

<<If you already know what B.A.E. of the Week is, you may skip this introduction and head straight to Nicole G.’s profile.>>

WHAT IS B.A.E. OF THE WEEK?

B.A.E.= Bachelorettes are Everywhere. Single ladies, you are not alone.

Urban Dictionary definition: Bae– A Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc.

For purposes on Generation grannY, “bae” means the second half of the above definition.

Each week, I will profile a single lady who is a catch. This is not so that guys can come girlfriend shopping on Generation grannY. I promise– the purpose is not to market these women. They are not easy. They are not desperate. Odds are, they will not have even wanted to be featured as the B.A.E. of the Week, but I will have coerced them with promises of alcohol, chocolate, and 10% of any money I ever make with my writing.

The real purpose of the “Bachelorettes are Everywhere” series is to help remind any single sisters reading my blog that you are not alone. You are normal, but in a good way. Nay, you are awesome, and I’ll prove it to you by showing you all of these other awesome females who haven’t found the right guy yet.

B.A.E. of the Week: Nicole G.

nicole g

Name: Nicole G.

Nickname(s): Nikki, Smokey, Nolo, Nicholle (prounounced ni-cho-lee. My coworkers are the worst/best)

Age: 25

What institute of higher learning did/do you attend? Christopher Newport University, 2011

What is your current occupation? I manage an office and plan events in the internet domain industry. Thrilling stuff!

What is your ultimate career goal?  If I could just get paid to go to concerts and music festivals and talk about all the good music people should be listening to, I’d be completely fulfilled.

What is something you’ve done in life thus far that you’re proud of?  I’m proud of all the great friendships I’ve been able to maintain! As a military child I moved every few years and I think that helped me learn how to keep in contact with the people I cherish having in my life. Thankfully social media has made that a lot easier as well.

What do you like to do outside of work? I sing in an all-female semi-pro a cappella group, I try to go to at least 3 concerts a month (I’m real big on new year’s resolutions), I’m obsessed with boxing and I like to frequent trivia nights with friends.

Who was your elementary school crush? One of my older brother’s friends I can’t remember the name of.

Did he like you back? Despite my attempts to woo him during vacation bible school (he was a teacher), he sadly did not return my affection. =(

Do you believe in love at first sight? I think it’s possible.

Do you feel ready to get married if you found the right one? Probably not right away.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? My coworkers made me sing karaoke songs of their choosing at a company party.

[Editor’s note: Nicole has one of the most amazing voices I’ve ever heard. She is also my roommate, so sometimes when she is singing in her room, I pretend not to be home so that she keeps going and I can listen in awe.]

What is the second most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? Agree to singing at said party without more liquid courage.

[Editor’s note: She is the most humble person on the planet about her voice, while also being confident at the same time. I don’t know how she walks the line so perfectly, but we’ll chalk it up to her just being a really wonderful human.]

What’s one weird thing you do sometimes? I read magazines backwards. I’ve been doing it for years…I have no explanation.

Do you try and catch the bouquet at weddings or usually hide from it? I participate, but I’m definitely not in the front trying to tackle anyone for it.

Are you Pocahontas or Mulan? Mulan for sure.

What’s your favorite unhealthy food? I’m pretty sure I’m the only person in America buying this:

salad

What’s your least favorite kind of workout? Hiking. I’m just not a fan. Please do not invite me to go hiking. Wait, everyone else is going? Absolutely everyone? And there’s a waterfall at the end of the hike? Fine. Fine. I’m in. You’ve convinced me.

Go-to drink: Rye and grapefruit

Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel? I’m going to go with Fallon, but this was really tough for me.

Ryan Gosling or Chris Hemsworth? Joe Manganiello. I can do that right?

[Editor’s note: No,  you can’t do that, but I’ll let it slide.]

Favorite physical feature on yourself: I’ve grown to appreciate my cheeks.

[Editor’s note (yet again): We can assume that she’s talking about all four of her cheeks here, since– as her roommate– I can attest that all four are really fantastic.]

One reason you love being single: It makes concert planning season a whole lot easier. I love going to concerts alone. Also, nothing beats being able to sleep diagonally in my bed.

B.A.E.s of the Week are required to give me their BFF’s phone number so that I can ask the following questions:

Describe Nicole in three words: Gorgeous, personable, witty

Why you think Nicole shouldn’t be single: Nicole should not be single because she has more to offer in a relationship than just a notch in your bedpost. She has the biggest heart and is the funniest person to be around. The person would be enriched with so much love from her. She is the best and deserves the best!

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B.A.E. of the Week: Amy H.

<<If you already know what B.A.E. of the Week is, you may skip this introduction and head straight to Amy H.’s profile.>>

WHAT IS B.A.E. OF THE WEEK?

B.A.E.= Bachelorettes are Everywhere. Single ladies, you are not alone.

Urban Dictionary definition: Bae– A Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc.

For purposes on Generation grannY, “bae” means the second half of the above definition.

Each week, I will profile a single lady who is a catch. This is not so that guys can come girlfriend shopping on Generation grannY. I promise– the purpose is not to market these women. They are not easy. They are not desperate. Odds are, they will not have even wanted to be featured as the B.A.E. of the Week, but I will have coerced them with promises of alcohol, chocolate, and 10% of any money I ever make with my writing.

The real purpose of the “Bachelorettes are Everywhere” series is to help remind any single sisters reading my blog that you are not alone. You are normal, but in a good way. Nay, you are awesome, and I’ll prove it to you by showing you all of these other awesome females who haven’t found the right guy yet.

B.A.E. of the Week: Amy H.

Amy H. BAE

Name: Amy H.

Nickname(s): Lamey, Bunky, Flutus

Age: 25

What institute of higher learning did/do you attend? Christopher Newport University

What is your current occupation?  I work for my dad’s small investment firm, so I do lots of random things around our office: asset allocation, portfolio rebalancing, mutual fund trading, lots of different administrative tasks, and chatting with clients on the phone.

What is your ultimate career goal?  I would really like to become a nutritionist someday. Nutrition is my passion, and I’d love to share that with other people who may be struggling with their health.

What is something you’ve done in life thus far that you’re proud of? During my junior year of college I walked onto the varsity lacrosse team.  I knew that I’d never be a starter, but I really missed playing the best sport ever (I’m from Maryland, lax is life).  It was one of the most physically and mentally demanding things I’ve ever done, but it was worth it.  My coaches and teammates were so welcoming and wonderful, and at the end of the year, to my surprise, my coaches awarded me with the All-Conference Sportsmanship Team Award (I like to call it the Best Benchwarmer Ever Award).  But in all seriousness, being recognized for working hard and trying my best was one of the proudest moments of my life.  (Also, fun/embarrassing fact, my dad was so excited that I made the team, he used to arrive early to home games to video tape the warm-ups.)

What do you like to do outside of work?  I love to cook and bake (weird allergy friendly/paleo foods),  and I love hanging out with my friends. I am very close with my family, so I spend a lot of time with them.  I also love doing anything athletic, and I take tap dancing classes.  I take singing lessons as well, and I’m about to audition for a community theater musical.

Who was your elementary school crush? Haha I have to pick just one? I was a boy crazy little kid! My first crush was Brian Burke.

Did he like you back? I think so, he used to kiss me on the cheek at recess in second grade (that was quite scandalous for Catholic school).

Do you believe in love at first sight? Nope. I believe that true love takes time and patience.

Do you feel ready to get married if you found the right one?  I think so.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week?  I got caught practicing some tap dancing steps in our office kitchen (this actually happens about once a week).  It’s really hard to brush that off and pretend like you were doing something other than dancing, so I just laughed it off. Life is too short to stand still while waiting for the microwave.

What is the second most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week?   I was hanging out at my parents’ house last weekend and the weather was really nice, so I decided to clean out my car.  It was extremely messy because I am a car slob, and I also had tons of junk in there from moving.  So I kept pulling out more and more stuff, and filling trash bag upon trash bag with crap.  I honestly could have hosted a yard sale from the things I found (a food processor, throw pillows, 12 umbrellas, cleaning supplies, boots, shampoo, etc.).  So the whole time I was cleaning, people kept walking by and commenting on the state of my car/ the pile of junk on the sidewalk.  One of our family friends even told me that she was proud of me.  Needless to say my car is now spotless, and I will never be a car hoarder again.

What’s one weird thing you do sometimes? I have started saying “yodel” instead of “hello” as a greeting to my friends and family. I really love making up words/ generally being silly. But a lot of my friends say it now too, so I don’t feel as weird as I should.

Do you try and catch the bouquet at weddings or usually hide from it? I always hide! Despite my love of playing catch, grabbing the bouquet at weddings makes me feel squirmy.  I think it’s an outdated tradition that needs to end.

Are you Rapunzel or Snow White? Rapunzel all the way.

What’s your favorite unhealthy food?  Potato chips and chocolate.

What’s your least favorite kind of workout? Sprints.

Go-to drink: Water, green tea, or kombucha.

Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel? Jimmy Fallon

Robert Pattinson or Joseph Gordon-Levitt? JGL! He’s handsome, charming, and he can sing.

Favorite physical feature on yourself: I love my hair color! I love being blonde. I have never dyed my hair, and I never will! I have my Polish/German genes to thank for that.

One reason you love being single: I really enjoy the freedom that comes with being single.  I can do things on my terms and on my time.

B.A.E.s of the Week are required to give me their BFF’s phone number so that I can ask the following questions:

(I actually texted two of Amy’s BFFs, so she gets two rounds of answers!)

Describe Amy in three words:

BFF #1: Genuine, selfless, flawless

BFF #2: Genuine, silly, vivacious

^^ Note: Amy is extra genuine. BFF #1 and BFF #2 did not copy each other or even know that they were both taking part in this.

Why you think Amy shouldn’t be single:

BFF #1: Any boy would be lucky to have Amy! She makes me a better person and brings so much laughter and joy into my life. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

BFF #2: Amy shouldn’t be single because she has a lot of love to give and her boobs are too great to be wasted on being single.

^^Props to BFF #2 for calling it how it is.

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Bachelorettes Are Everywhere (B.A.E.)

As my friends and family wish they didn’t know, I’ve dated a lot since entering young adulthood. I like to say that my approach is to “cast a wide net.” Jury’s still out on if that tactic works. Anyway, that being the case, I’m pretty much a black belt in predicting behavior of someone I’m seeing. When I said earlier this week that my new boo, Spring, was going to ghost us all because I couldn’t help but overwhelm it with my love, boy was I right. Sorry to everyone who was affected by my lack of self-control in smothering Spring with my affection.

Proof that Spring wasn’t ready for a relationship: It’s snowing on the first official day of the season. This is the weather equivalent of being stood up at the altar. I feel unprepared, disappointed, and like wearing white lace looks really desperate. Somebody please go with me on a sympathy honeymoon to a tropical destination and buy me a piña colada, stat.

All of this talk about dating/ghosting/weather(?) got me thinking. I am pretty normal– besides the fact that I have a bizarre obsession with watching killer whale attacks on YouTube, actively window shop for cheese to avoid actually consuming the calories, and am somewhat attracted to Josh Groban. Those things aside, the only reason I’m single is because the right guy hasn’t come along. Or if he has, I was too busy brushing my ha…nope, nope. Definitely would’ve noticed. If that’s the case in my life, then I know it is the case in the lives of lots of single ladies out there.

So I’ve decided to implement a new series on Generation grannY: The “Bachelorettes are Everywhere” series. Or the B.A.E. of the Week.

Urban Dictionary Definition: Bae– A Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc.

I fully expected to find only the second part of that definition, but the first part was way too good to omit. Wow. Laughing really hard. Aaaaannnd we continue…

The way this will work is that each week (maybe less if I’m lazy and/or no one wants to participate), I will profile a single lady who is a catch. This is not so that guys can come girlfriend shopping on Generation grannY…though if that does happen, and if any featured bachelorettes find their soulmate that way, I am automatically granted 2 bottles of wine of my choosing and the opportunity to make a speech at the wedding (probably after drinking aforementioned wine).

…As I was saying, the purpose is not to pimp out these women. They are not easy. They are not desperate. Odds are, they will not have even wanted to be featured as the B.A.E. of the Week, but I will have coerced them with promises of alcohol, chocolate, and 10% of any money I ever make with my writing. Whatever works. Truly, the real purpose of the “Bachelorettes are Everywhere” series is to help remind any single sisters reading my blog that you are not alone. You are normal, but in a good way. You are awesome, and I’ll prove it to you by showing you all of these other awesome girls who haven’t found the right guy yet. I hope the profiles make you laugh and give you lots of good feels.

I’m going to kick off the B.A.E. series with myself, since maybe I’m a narcissist..? No, it’s just because I haven’t had anyone fill out my questionnaire yet. Plus, if I’m going to subject my friends and friends of friends to exposing weird things about themselves, I think I’m required to do it first. Not that I don’t already do that on a regular basis on this blog.

B.A.E. of the Week: Shannon O.

tess me

I’m on the left, my best friend on the right (with the purple hair). She’s the one who I paid to say the nice things about me at the end of this post.

Name: Shannon O.

Nickname(s): Shanny, Shanny the Granny, Sholiver, Shollie, Shannanigans

Age: 26

What institute of higher learning did/do you attend? Christopher Newport University, 2010

How do you make money to pay rent? Managing an office full of mostly alpha males.

What is your ultimate career goal? To make money writing– preferably enough to buy nice things.

What is something you’ve done in life thus far that you’re proud of? I’m proud of becoming a Diversity Awareness Educator and using the platform of Miss New York 2012 to talk to thousands of kids about breaking stereotypes and showing kindness to everyone, despite differences.

What do you like to do outside of work? Sing, hang out with my friends, write this blog, horseback ride.

Who was your elementary school crush? Myles Shipp

Did he like you back? For about a week, but then he moved on to someone else, if I remember correctly.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Nope.

Do you feel ready to get married if you found the right one? Yes.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? The same USPS guy delivers mail to my office every day, so I sometimes feel like we are friends. On Monday, we were getting on the elevator at the same time and I thought he was giving me a high five, so I went in for the kill, but turned out he was just trying to hold the door for me. I didn’t recover well.

What is the second most embarrassing thing you’ve done in the last week? I wanted to pick up horseback riding again since I haven’t ridden regularly for about nine years, so I found a barn near me and signed up for lessons. The lady on the phone warned me that most of the girls in the class would be teenagers, plus one very talented 9-year-old. I told her that was fine. No shame. The real issue was that when registering, they force you to create a “Kid Profile” and “Parent Profile.” So I had to sign up “Shannon Oliver” as the parent and as the child. It was pretty embarrassing/humbling, and I had to really evaluate if I’m too old for this sort of thing.

What’s one weird thing you do sometimes? I tend to put my underwear on inside out by accident and don’t realize it until the end of the day.

Do you try and catch the bouquet at weddings or usually hide from it? Hide in a big way.

Are you Anna or Elsa? Anna. Hands down.

What’s your favorite unhealthy food? Velveeta Shells & Cheese with hot dogs cut up and mixed in.

What’s your least favorite kind of workout? I’ve finally concluded that I don’t like classes. Working out is “me time.”

Go-to drink? Red wine or gin and tonic.

Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel? Fallon.

Ryan Gosling or Chris Hemsworth? I’m good with either, but Hemsworth if I have to choose.

Favorite physical feature on yourself: I like my ears.

One reason you love being single: I really enjoy being single because it allows me to invest more in my friendships. I have a lot of super close friends, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything!

B.A.E.s of the Week are required to give me their BFF’s phone number so that I can ask the following questions:

Describe Shannon in three words: Outgoing, intelligent, approachable.

Why you think Shannon shouldn’t be single: [Shannon is] a smart, motivated, and loving individual. She’s easy to get along with and it doesn’t hurt that she’s a beaut with a bangin’ body. [I paid her to say these things.]

———-

Next week you’ll get a real B.A.E. of the Week, not me! Hurrah!

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