Never/Always: Winter Edition

When people say they don’t like warm weather, I usually disassociate myself. They probably don’t like furry animals or hugs or laughing either. But this morning, as I was held hostage in my home by snow, sending work emails and creating travel vouchers from the warmth of my bed, I began thinking that the angry winter gnomes out there might have a point. I will never turn my back on my #1 season- summer, duh- but consider this Never/Always list an internal battle with a pre-determined winner.

11 Reasons I NEVER Want it to be Winter

11 Reasons I ALWAYS Want it to be Winter

Despite the “Always” portion of this post, I still love furry animals and hugs and laughing, just FYI. Also, to my boss- if you’re reading, I wrote this on my lunch break.

NEVER:

1. Cold hurts. Warmth can be a little sticky, but it’s not like the cold, which feels like someone slapping your face and sitting on your heart at the same time.

2. Fashion is irrelevant. No matter how cute your high-waisted leather skirt and long sleeve Nasty Gal crop look together, you’re going to throw a coat on and cover the whole outfit anyway. Might as well wear mom jeans and a bubble shirt.

3. Waking up is hard(er). Because taking off the blankets feels like some sort of torture they might use on prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. (Too much?)

4. Dry skin. I spend so much money on lotion and ChapStick in the winter, it’s not even funny.

5. Socializing suffers. No one wants to pay for a coat check or flirt with someone who is deficient in vitamin D.

6. It’s dark by lunchtime. Nighttime really loses its special flare when it begins while you’re still at work.

7. Empty gyms. Motivation is low during winter, which makes everyone lethargic and flabby. Two words I never want in my bio.

8. The couch feels lonely. If you have a significant other, I’m super happy for you. If you don’t, the lack of a cuddle buddy in winter gets really depressing when you’re watching The Bachelor and eating a whole pizza by yourself lounging on the couch alone.

olaf gif

9. Icy roads. For both cars and clumsy people like myself, ice is no bueno.

10. Sickness. Runny noses, dry coughs, and stomach viruses are just as plentiful as Ugg boots. Gross.

11. Forgotten sunglasses. Winter can still be insanely bright, but I never ever remember to bring my sunglasses to outdoor events, leaving me squinty and miserable most of the time (also due to #1, re: cold hurts).

ALWAYS:

1. Snow days. Working from home once in a while brings me great joy.

2. Leggings. I’m pretty cool with the fact that wearing your PJs in public is socially acceptable. Note: Please wear sweaters that cover your butts, though, ladies. Leggings ≠ pants.

3. Beards. Facial hair [on men] is a beautiful thing.

NRT

Sign me up.

4. Grooming leniency. To piggyback off #3- if I’m running late for work and don’t have time to shave my legs…who’s the wiser?

5. Red wine. Warms you right up.

6. Boots. Although fashion is irrelevant (#2 on the Never list), boots look good on everyone.

7. Kids are in school. Fewer pesky teenagers running rampant and taking up space in the Chipotle line? Yes, please.

8. Less laundry. Since you don’t sweat through everything, sometimes you might just hang that cute little shirt right back up in the closet. It’s okay. We all do it.

9. Bosses are happy. I don’t know about you, but I tend to stay at work later in the winter to procrastinate the freezing walk to my car show my dedication.

10. Cabin activities. I’m not a big skier or ice climber (though I think I could get really into the latter), but people tend to plan activities that revolve around cabins and fireplaces in the winter, which I fully support.

11. Blankets. I really like the weight of blankets on me, which is much more practical in the winter. This does feed into #3 on the Never list, however, so maybe summer wins afterall..?

 

Who am I kidding. Summer definitely still wins.

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3 Comments

Filed under Lists

3 responses to “Never/Always: Winter Edition

  1. I actually was thinking along these same lines last week! You nailed it! ~Elle

  2. dre

    Just ate a whole (vegetaria/gluten free) pizza tip myself.

  3. Pingback: 3 Crucial Preparations for Spring | Generation grannY

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