Never/Always: Top 40 Hits Edition

I lost all of the music on my iPhone after moving to Virginia a year ago and am too poor to pay $10/month for Sirius, so now I just listen to FM radio in my car like a rock star. Because of the nature of FM radio, I have the pleasure of hearing the same 40 songs on repeat- some cycling through more often than others. If you’re interested in making me a mix tape (mix CD? Playlist? How does this work anymore? #granny) in 20 years from now to bring me back to that time I was 26, broke, and generally confused about life, please refer to this list.

11 Current Top 40 Hits I ALWAYS Want to Hear

11 Current Top 40 Hits I NEVER Want to Hear

By the way, I used the most recent American Top 40 list (9/13/14) to compile these songs. Trying to keep this ish official.

ALWAYS:

1. Problem by Ariana Grande⇒ You didn’t enjoy summer 2014 unless you enjoyed this song. Also, here’s a fun photo of Ariana’s brother, Frankie Grande, and me (and the gorgeous LTSig). #namedropper #photodropper

frankie

2. Bang Bang by Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nikki Manaj⇒ This song is basically the sequel to Lady Marmelade by Xtina, Pink, Mya (what actually happened to her career?), and Lil’ Kim. Obsessed. Also, my voice has a really major girl crush on Jessie J’s voice.

3. Boom Clap by Charli Xcx⇒ The first 50 times I heard this song, I thought it was paying homage to choreographer Laurieann Gibson from the show Making the Band with P. Diddy and Danity Kane (circa 2005). In my head, these lyrics will forever be “Boom Kat, the sound of my heart.” Love it, love her.

4. Black Widow by Iggy Izalea feat. Rita Ora⇒ Iggy and Rita just fully own the “crazy ex” stereotype and it makes me laugh/fear for all men/maybe relate a little bit.

5.  All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor⇒ This song almost makes me want to gain a few lbs. Almost.

6. Shake It Off by Taylor Swift⇒ Curse you, Taylor! Everything you do is so stinkin’ catchy that it’s impossible to pretend that I’m cool enough to not love bubblegum pop.

7. Rather Be by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne⇒ There’s nono no no, no place I’d rather be than in my car singing this song at the top of my lungs.

8. Stay With Me by Sam Smith⇒ His voice is pure butter, plus the lyrics make me simultaneously feel like there’s no hope for love in this stupid hook up culture and plenty of hope because the chorus is so pretty that it sounds romantic. I never know which way the song will make my emotions swing, so that keeps it interesting.

9. Shower by Becky G⇒ It’s just a happy song. And makes me feel more normal for dancing in the mirror.

10. Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer⇒ Because the 11-year-old inside of me will always have a soft spot for angsty boy band songs. Can’t help it. They know how to reach me.

11. Latch by Disclosure feat. Sam Smith⇒ Again, bow down to Sam Smith’s voice. Also, Meryl and Maks danced to a slow version of this song on last season’s DWTS and I am still shipping four months later. Every time I hear it, I imagine that someday I’ll find their kind of chemistry.

You have to watch this. YOU HAVE TO. And they still claim they’re not together. Super dumb.

 

NEVER:

1. Rude by Magic⇒ At first I thought this little jam was catchy, but then I realized that it’s essentially just an immature boy complaining through my speakers. Why won’t your girlfriend’s father give his approval for you to marry his daughter? Do you have savings? Are you loyal? Respectful? I don’t know anything about you. This is probably your fault.

2. Hideaway by Kiesza⇒ Maybe if Paula Abdul sang it, but I don’t know.

3. Maps by Maroon 5⇒ Not their best work. I’m at a payphone and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe because I’ve got moves like Jagger on Sunday morning and now I’m in misery during this wake up call. Please tell me you followed that/think I’m a genius.

laugh

4. Am I Wrong by Nico and Vinz⇒ It just sounds like a million other songs. Give me more spice. Keep me more interested. Wow me.

5. Summer by Calvin Harris⇒ This song was bearable in the summer, but now it’s fall and I’m not feeling it.

6. All of Me by John Legend⇒ Personal problem here. Can’t handle the memories. It’s me, not you, John.

7. Bailando by Enrique Iglesias feat. Sean Paul⇒ Sorry, but this brings me straight back to my first neighborhood in Washington Heights, Manhattan where I couldn’t sleep because of the block parties and gunshots. [Disclaimer: This is not racist. I just like my sleep.]

8. Don’t by Ed Sheeran⇒ It’s like Jason Mraz and Justin Timberlake had a baby and it’s not as cute as I wanted it to be.

9. Fireball by Pitbull feat. John Ryan⇒ Pitbull, stop yelling at me using lots of words I can’t understand.

10. This Is How We Do by Katy Perry⇒ There’s actually only one note in this entire song. One.

11. Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo⇒ I feel like this is the kind of song that plays at parties in Brooklyn where people look at me funny because I’m not dressed in a flannel and ripped skinnies with high tops.

hipster

 

Alrighty, I look forward to my trip down memory lane in 20 years! Remember to label my mix tape “Shannon’s 2014 FM Jams.”

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1 Comment

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One response to “Never/Always: Top 40 Hits Edition

  1. Laraine Breitenberg

    Always love your post, Shannon ~ but really don’t know any of these songs. I’m getting old and I’m good County and Guava Jam!!!!

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